improving

People tell me I live in a bad neighborhood. One of the ladies I used to work with went so far as to call it a "ghetto". I don't know. It has it's conveniences. Like: I live halfway between a bodega and a crack house. Unfortunately, the whorehouse down the street had to close, you know, recession and all. Also, there are more resident landscapers per mile than the entire United States (or Central America). And during hurricane Irene I never lost power or cable. Someone was murdered on the next block and his house was burned down, but hey, the previous murder was across the street. So I guess the neighborhood's improving.

baby

There is nothing in this world more delicious than dead animal, except maybe dead BABY animal.

change

I just read that some company bought the rights to one of the favorite films of my childhood and is going to change it into a Mexican porno about anal sex. It's called: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

beans

Just got back from a wonderful night of classical guitar that even included a little Gershwin. Except, there was one guitarist who... hmmm, how do I put this? I've got it. Hanibal Lecter would have served his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

dental

You may have inferred from previous blogs that I work in Hell. I would like to state that is the farthest thing from the truth and I meant in no way to even imply that the conditions in my work place are "hell-like". We have much better air conditioning than they. But I hear they have a much better cafeteria and dental.

keyboard

If I see one more facebook profile where some DD cup tells everyone that you just have to believe in yourself and your dreams will come true, or post about how she always gets everything that she wants due to some delusion of force of will, I'm going to puke all over my keyboard.

already

Never go to the beach with an arab. Especially one who's already tan.