Underwear

During the height of covid I was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. The Hospital was great, But I couldn't have any visitors or packages. So I basically layed there fermenting. I'm okay now. But I just read that my undewear became sentient, has escaped from a government lab, and is rampaging across the Pacific Northwest.

Granpa

So, I sent a spit sample to one of the DNA ancestry sites. No real surprises. No polecats in the henhouse. But while others find out they are distant relatives to Kings, artists, or historical figures, it seems that the Spanish side was really just Visigoths. You know, that barbarian germanic tribe that left almost no art, almost no architecture, no written language, and who's only contribution to history was to sack Rome, almost wiping out western civilization and plunging Europe into the dark ages. Yup, sounds like my family alright. Oh yeah, they lost Spain to the Moors as well. Thanks Granpa! Very proud.

Red

I’m sitting in a diner... Me: Is the Romanian Steak made from a real Romanian? Server: I don’t know. I’m new here. Swear to God. This just happened. ... My vacuum robot is programmed to sense when I’m in the kitchen and get underfoot. It’s just like my grandmother. ... I just met my friend’s new girlfriend. Turns out you CAN put lipstick on a pig. Deep red.

Art

I’m studying a new martial art called “buk bukgah”. It’s based on the noise a chicken makes when it runs away.

So today I was at a crossroads. I could either: 1. Go to work to earn money to exchange for food and shelter. Or... 2. Stay home and watch “Godzilla vs Space Godzilla”. Life is hard.

Lo

After many years of effort and fortitude I have finally achieved a life long goal that I have been striving for lo all these years. At last. I don’t have a single piece of clean underwear. I find myself forced to relent and do some laundry. Wait... there’s still the smell test!

Use

What use is all the Beauty in the universe if there are no eyes to see it? No brains to know it? No hearts to feel it?