Wednesday, July 4, 2018


I’m studying a new martial art called “buk bukgah”. It’s based on the noise a chicken makes when it runs away.

Monday, June 11, 2018

So today I was at a crossroads. I could either: 1. Go to work to earn money to exchange for food and shelter. Or... 2. Stay home and watch “Godzilla vs Space Godzilla”. Life is hard.

Wednesday, March 28, 2018


After many years of effort and fortitude I have finally achieved a life long goal that I have been striving for lo all these years. At last. I don’t have a single piece of clean underwear. I find myself forced to relent and do some laundry. Wait... there’s still the smell test!

Tuesday, February 27, 2018


I have to say this. You forget there is at least one person in the world that really knows you. You are a thief with the heart of a con man. Richard Sayage you are an absolute douche.

Saturday, February 24, 2018


What use is all the Beauty in the universe if there are no eyes to see it? No brains to know it? No hearts to feel it?

Thursday, February 15, 2018


I have two eyes and three detached retinas. How the fuck does that work!? I guess my old hippie girlfriend was right about that “third eye” shit. Actually I just think my warranty’s up. I knew I should have bought the extended.

Friday, July 28, 2017


The meaning of life is to pass your DNA to the next generation... in the most disgusting filthy way possible.