credit

So, it's finally happened. I met that special someone. After all these years. I know what you're going to say: "She's too young for me" or "there's the language thing" or even "she's a Russian stripper" but you just don't understand how she feels about me. She said I was nothing at all like the other middle aged pot bellied losers that she is forced to allow to stick one dollar bills up her cootch every Saturday, Tuesday, and Thursday happy hour. And she hates those good looking athletic guys in their late twenties that she screws two at a time every weekend. She's always had a thing for the shy sensitive intelligent type. Like me! She even has a pet name for me: "bolshoi idiot". She told me it's Russian for "handsome intelligent man with incredibly large penis". She likes to wisper it in my ear as I blow through the month's rent for a lap dance. So anyway, I'm walking on air. Tomorrow, right after I throw me elderly parents into the streets, we're going shopping for her new car. I hope my credit's good!