scoop

Every so often, I am struck with a moment of clarity. A fleeting millisecond, where all things comes together in a kind of metaphysical oneness. Today it hit me. If Einstein's model of the universe is correct, in which space and time are infinite, ultimately curving back upon itself, Then every experience, thought, and accomplishment, is both the penultimate culmination of all being and existence, and therefore not only an end, but also a new beginning. Everything is both an alpha and omega, zenith and nadir simultaneously. We should all therefore exalt in every moment, for its uniqueness and newness, It's potential and kinetic possibility. Celebrating all we do, and all we know... This is what I remembered as scooped the cat shit out of the litter box today. The ultimate culmination of my life is to shovel feces, something I would never do for a human. Christ, I doubt I'd even do it for myself. Hold on. If all this is true, then our pets ultimate purpose is to provide the shit. Jesus, all this time I was convinced that we all just complex meatbags, created to propagate genetic material. But the truth is far worse. Ultimately, I am nothing more than some pet's piss boy! That's it. Cancel the celebration. Never again will I clean up after an animal. And the next time I see a monkey at the zoo, I'll be the one throwing the shit. It's time. It's time we humans rise up and cast off the shackled pooper scoopers of our repressors. Let the revolution begin, even if the heavens fall!